Sunday, November 21, 2010

Ghost Town.


I used to watch Westerns with my brother Jonathan. Jon and I always seemed to watch the shoot em ups. Westerns, War War II movies. And Jon would take great joy in reenacting these scenes of carnage on me his younger and weaker brother usually pouncing on me when the ending credits rolled and pinning me to the carpet in one of his fancy wrestling moves (he later was big contributor on the varsity wrestling team for Staples High our alma mater. But it was in Westerns that I would see the ghost towns. These once inhabited, once healthy outposts now barren and devoid of life. Well that is how I feel about this blog. No one in the immediate family much cares about this blog. No one has volunteered to write anything for it. I decided today that it was pretty much a pride-led thing to start it in the first place. I saw a sparkly blog that a young married couple had started in our ward. All their family and friends had sparkly blogs too filled with cute little wasatch blonde kids and scrapbooky layouts and so I decided well The Davis Family should have a blog. But as my dearly beloved Christie is fond of saying there is nothing so foolish as doing something that doesn't need to be done at all. And so I am saying farewell. I may even, ere long, sign off Facebook too. I am not sure what purpose my daily status serve except a vehicle for my telling people how awesome my life is like the Christmas letters we all get that say, John has just finished his screenplay for Fox and I am serving as chairman of the junior league and my parents just got called to be mission presidents on the moon, and our kids have all been translated so we're empty nesters now so we moved to a smaller pied-a-terre in Gramercy Park and its so dang fun. So Im evaluating that too. If any one wants me to keep this blog going let me know. Otherwise it will sit, empty, like a the ghost towns of my movie watching youth. See you around pardners. If you I think I should stick around these parts give a holler. Otherwise I'm hitting the trail.

Sunday, March 7, 2010

A Sunday in Between


It is a beautiful sabbath afternoon, sunny and high in the 50's here in Southern Connecticut. I was able to run in shorts for the first time all season yesterday yet I ran in running tights and gloves just the day before. The weather is in its late winter undecided stage. And while I ran yesterday I thought how fitting a metaphor that is for so many things in our family.

Our "adopted daughter" Nicole Dew reminded me in a blog comment not too long ago that the "almost daily doings" are in need of a more regular refresh. I guess I had been waiting for something more monumental to happen to write a new entry about forgetting what our dear friend Ellis Ivory said to me in similar moment a few years back. Life is monumental. The daily doings, for which this Blog is named, in the aggregate may not seem monumental but just the struggles, joys and triumphs of raising a Latter-day Saint family in the East without benefit of family super close by that is monumental enough. The day-to-day tender mercies of finding lost items with a prayer or a son who in order to finish his Eagle scout requirements walked 65 miles in a single week. That's pretty darn monumental. Trust me I walked ten of those miles before my feet blistered so bad I could not stand. Some hand-cart captain I would have made! They would have left me in between!

The children are all in a bit of an in between it seems. Sarah is literally in-between jobs. Suzanne is in between serious relationships but seeing a very nice young man with a penchant for flying airplanes. Andrew is in between finishing high school and starting at BYU-I in the fall. Em is between finishing middle school and starting seminary and the excitement of DHS in
the fall.

Christie is in between being completely over the long recovery from her torn achilles and being back on the tennis court, we are in between being go everywhere, do everything parents of teens and the serenity and service filled years of being empty nesters. Just Em at home come the fall.

The company is in-between being a tiny boutique collective and becoming a real small company with multiple partners and a real office or two. And I am in between New York and Salt Lake quite literally several times a month. It is that growing duality that is making me feel perhaps the most in-between of all. I think of how easy and economical it would be to move to Salt Lake, to an Ivory Home with all their shiny amenities, or a rustic older home in Harvard/Yale, or something along Walker or somewhere in Holladay near Steve and Jen if we could ever afford it after selling our Darien house and paying off everything and everyone. Then of course I think of the dread of cleaning, curb-appealing, packing and selling our place and the state of the market and I am back to being just in-between.

So as much in between as things feel right now, something are not in between, some things are rooted, substantial and permanent and thankfully those things are the things that really count - our testimonies of the restored gospel, our love for each other, our commitment to the Church in serving wherever we are asked and our focus on being back to the very basics of life in the gospel. The other thing that is thankfully not in-between is the love and support of wonderful business partners, friends and ward members who we serve alongside. The quiet, marvelous way they serve and the examples they set fill our lives with love and gratitude.

Yes things are a bit in-between but that has a certain mystery and wonder about it. It's part of life's grand adventure. Christie and I once attended a church meeting where the speaker, the Branch President at West Point, said he loved when at a dinner you're told to save your fork because that means something wonderful is coming. That's very much how I feel about life right now. Soon we will hear the wheels of the sweet tray. Soon enough. But now, the table is laden with the dinner course still and we're feeling a bit, well, in-between.






Friday, November 27, 2009

The Adventures of Ebb and Flow



"A decline and increase, constant fluctuations. For example, He was fascinated by the ebb and flow of the Church's influence over the centuries. This expression alludes to the inward and outward movement of ocean tides. [Late 1500s]" -- Dictionary.com

Ah the beginning of the festive holiday season. It's a strange and wonderful time for our family. We Davis' all seem to be caught between the ebb and flow of big life events, big life decisions and big life challenges. On the family front, it seems it was a November full of serious health challenges, auto accidents and other calamities. Christie's brother Dennis had a serious heart ailment which was caught just in time and righted now he feels fantastic. Christie's sister Cindy was hit by a car while walking and was seriously injured. Our Sarah was also hit but only her new car sustained a small bit of damage. And our dearly beloved Christie had a late November adventure with some health challenges of her own but is now feeling great thank heaven (literally) and excited about our Christmas trip to Seattle to see her family. The D-girls are joining us for New Years out there so that will be a partay.

Then there is the ebb and flow of life-changing events. Suzanne and her "veddy-steady" Joe are off to the Dominican Republic for Christmas to visit his parents who are on a CES assignment. S&J are a delightfully cute couple and we love Joe and how he completes the family's sense of humor and love of all things spontaneous. They have not made it "official" yet so Joe falls under the category of "pre-iance." Sarah is between jobs and heading to Ethiopia in March while she continues to look at new opportunities. She has great faith and it has moved mountains for her in the past and no doubt will continue to but she needs a GPS. No I mean really she needs one. This kid gets lost on SLC streets constantly. And then there's the ebb and flow of our little company going through an unusual growth spurt thanks to the amazing infusion of energy brought by new partner Stephen Wunderli who left Bonneville after 15 years to join D&P and run our fledgling new Salt Lake operation and he is truly amazing. I was in SLC twice in November and expect that to be case well into the new year. Newly signed Utah clients will be announced shortly but they are amazing opportunities and we are very excited about it.

Then unfortunately there is ebb and flow of dear friends and their marriages. I am seeing far far too many good LDS marriages in crisis, even total melt down right now. Christie and I just ache for dear friends who are dealing with some heavy relationship issues right now. For us an amazing marriage boils down to one thing folks...WORK. Love is work. Staying in love is work. Work takes time, toil, investment, energy, sacrifice and imagination but mostly of it takes doing it. Work is just that -- work. But the work of keeping a marriage vital is the most important work two people will ever do in a lifetime. Nothing is more essential to a family's well-being then two parents who are just working it at being and staying in love.

Finally there is the ebb and flow of money my least-of-all favorite subject. The recession caused clients pay late, really late. As October projects wrapped and November contracts were being signed clients, even some of our biggest and best were late in paying and the combination was the cause for some sleepless nights the kind only the owner of a small growing business knows. Fortunately the night turns into day and when morning does come I cannot say enough about the power of a five mile run to detox out of your system any of life's big or little worries. The pounding of Asics on asphalt has got to be one of my favorite sounds next to my wife's laugh. When I look at our about to be signed contracts on my desk I sigh and think how truly blessed we are. When I look at our bill basket I sigh and think how very impatient I am, how very thin the ice is we are skating on and wish people would just pay on time! One goal we have set for this year to come is to completely get out of debt and it has become a fixation of mine. Interest is paying for something twice. And I am making it my public enemy #1.

What does not ebb and flow? Our collective testimony as a family that there is a plan of happiness created for us, that life does not just happen it is a precious guided tour we are on, that there is a loving, attentive, merciful God and He knows and is involved in the intimate details of our lives. What does not ebb and flow is our absolute knowledge that prayer is not talking to the ceiling. Prayer is a vital, powerful and life-changing force in our lives. And lastly what does not ebb and flow is our knowledge that the restored gospel of Jesus Christ is the power to save, heal and sustain eternal relationships.

Ebb and Flow. I have a feeling these two guys are going to be permanent house guests. But that's ok because Faith, Hope and Charity are also staying with us and they all seem to balance each other out rather happily. Peace peeps. Love you all.





Friday, July 24, 2009

With Faith in Every Footstep


It's Pioneer Day. I am sitting in my office. I should be working on a script that's due Monday but I had to take a moment of pause and pay homage to the sacrifices and the tears of our pioneer forebears who blazed a trail of hope and faith for our family to inherit. They left comfortable homes and farms, forsook worldly honors and ignored well intentioned but probably relentless pressure from family members who did not understand what was calling them to a new Zion. To these brave souls and all the modern pioneers who have walked in faith across the world and across the ages, I reverence their memory. Here is an account I try to read each July 24th. I hope it reminds you that people of faith everywhere are called by their convictions to do hard things and do them with a sense of honor to the cause of faith that is a common kinship across generations.

"When I was in my twelfth year, my parents joined the Latter-day Saints. On the fifth of November I was baptized. The following May we started for Utah. We left our home May 19, 1856. We came to London the first day, the next day came to Liverpool and went on board the ship Horizon that eve. It was a sailing vessel, and there were nearly nine hundred souls on board. We sailed on the 25th. The pilot ship came and tugged us out into the open sea. I well remember how we watched old England fade from sight. We sang “Farewell Our Native Land, Farewell.” When we were a few days out, a large shark followed the vessel. One of the Saints died, and he was buried at sea. We never saw the shark any more.


When we were sailing through the banks of Newfoundland, we were in a dense fog for several days. The sailors were kept busy night and day, ringing bells and blowing foghorns. One day I was on deck with my father when I saw a mountain of ice in the sea close to the ship. I said, “Look, Father, look.” He went as white as a ghost and said, “Oh, my girl.” At that moment the fog parted, the sun shone brightly till the ship was out of danger, when the fog closed on us again.


We were on the sea six weeks, then we landed at Boston. We took the train for Iowa City, where we had to get an outfit for the plains. It was the end of July. On the first of August we started to travel, with our ox teams unbroken and we not knowing a thing about driving oxen.


When we were in the Iowa campground, there came up a thunderstorm that blew down our shelter, made with handcarts and some quilts. We sat there in the rain, thunderstorm and lightning. My sister Fanny got wet and died the 19th of July 1856. She would have been 2 years old on the 23rd. The day we started our journey, we visited her grave. We felt very sad to leave our little sister there.


We traveled through the States until we came to Council Bluffs, Iowa. Then we started on our journey of one thousand miles over the plains. It was about the first of September. We traveled fifteen to twenty-five miles a day. We used to stop one day in the week to wash. On Sunday we would hold our meetings and rest. Every morning and night we were called to prayers by the bugle.

The Indians were on the war path and very hostile. Our captain, John Hunt, had us make a dark camp. That was to stop and get our supper, then travel a few miles, and not light any fires but camp and go to bed. The men had to travel all day and guard every other night.


We traveled on till we got to the Platte River. That was the last walk I ever had with my mother. We caught up with handcart companies that day. We watched them cross the river. There were great lumps of ice floating down the river. It was bitter cold. The next morning there were fourteen dead in camp through the cold. We went back to camp and went to prayers. They sang, “Come, Come, Ye Saints, No Toil Nor Labor Fear.” I wondered what made my mother cry. That night my mother took sick, and the next morning my little sister was born. It was the 23rd of September. We named her Edith, and she lived six weeks and died for want of nourishment.


We had been without fresh water for several days, just drinking snow water. The captain said there was a spring of fresh water just a few miles away. It was snowing hard, but my mother begged me to go and get her a drink. Another lady went with me. We were about halfway to the spring when we found an old man who had fallen in the snow. He was so stiff we could not lift him, so the lady told me where to go, and I would go back for help, for we knew he would soon be frozen if we left him. When I had gone, I began to think of the Indians and began looking in all directions. I became confused and forgot the way I should go. I waded around in the snow up to my knees and became lost. Later when I did not return to camp, the men started out after me. It was 11:00 o’clock [stet] before they found me. My feet and legs were frozen. They carried me to camp and rubbed me with snow. They put my feet in a bucket of water. The pain was terrible. The frost came out of my legs and feet but not out of my toes.


We traveled in the snow from the last crossing of the Platte River. We had orders not to pass the handcart companies. We had to keep close to them so as to help them if we could. We began to get short of food; our cattle gave out. We could only travel a few miles a day. When we started out of camp in the morning, the brethren would shovel snow to make a track for our cattle. They were weak for the want of food as the buffaloes were in large herds by the roads and ate all the grass.


When we arrived at Devil’s Gate, it was bitter cold. We left lots of our things there. There were two or three log houses there. We left our wagon and joined teams with a man named James Barman. We stayed there two or three days. While there an ox fell on the ice and the brethren killed it, and the beef was given out to the camp. My brother James ate a hearty supper and was as well as he ever was when he went to bed. In the morning he was dead.


My feet were frozen, also my brother Edwin and my sister Caroline had their feet frozen. It was nothing but snow. We could not drive out the cold in our tents. Father would clean a place for our tents and put snow around to keep it down. We were short of flour, but Father was a good shot. They called him the hunter of the camp. So that helped us out. We could not get enough flour for bread as we got only a quarter of a pound per head a day, so we would make it like thin gruel. We called it “skilly.”

There were four companies on the plains. We did not know what would become of us. One night a man came to our camp and told us there would be plenty of flour in the morning, for Brother Young had sent men and teams to help us. There was rejoicing that night. We sang songs, some danced, and some cried.


We traveled faster now that we had horse teams. My mother had never got well; she lingered until the 11th of December, the day we arrived in Salt Lake City, 1856. She died between the Little and Big Mountains. She was buried in the Salt Lake City Cemetery. She was forty-three years old. She and her baby lost their lives gathering to Zion in such a late season of the year. My sister was buried at the last crossing of the Sweetwater River.


We arrived in Salt Lake City at nine o’clock at night the 11th of December 1856. Three out of the four that were living were frozen. My mother was dead in the wagon.


Bishop Hardy had us taken to a house in his ward and the brethren and the sisters brought us plenty of food. We had to be careful and not eat too much as it might kill us we were so hungry.


Early next morning Brother Brigham Young and a doctor came. The doctor’s name was Williams. When Brigham Young came in, he shook hands with all of us. When he saw our condition—our feet frozen and our mother dead—tears rolled down his cheeks.

The doctor wanted to cut my feet off at the ankle, but President young said, “No, just cut off the toes, and I promise you that you will never have to take them off any farther.” The doctor amputated my toes, using a saw and a butcher knife. The sisters were dressing mother for her grave. Oh how did we stand it? That afternoon she was buried.


We had been in Salt Lake a week, when one afternoon a knock came at the door. It was Uncle John Wood. When he met Father he said, “I know it all, Bill.” Both of them cried. I was glad to see my father cry.


Instead of my feet getting better, they got worse until the following July. I went to Dr. Wiseman’s. But it was no use—he could do no more for me unless I would consent to have them cut off at the ankle. I told him what Brigham Young had promised me. He said, “All right, sit there and rot. I will do nothing more until you come to your senses.”


One day, I sat there crying, my feet were hurting so, when a little old woman knocked at the door. She said she had felt that someone needed her there. I told her the promise that Brigham Young had made me. She made a poultice and put it on my feet, and every day she would come and change the poultice. At the end of three months my feet were well.


One day Dr. Wiseman said, “Well, Mary, I must say you have grit. I suppose your feet have rotted to the knees by this time.” I said, “Oh, no, my feet are well.” He said, “I know better, it could never be.” So I took off my stockings and showed him my feet. He said that was surely a miracle."


-- From the journal of Mary Goble Pay

Monday, May 25, 2009

A moment of memorial.


I should by all rights be sleeping. It's Memorial Day. There is no seminary, no early morning meetings to get up for, no lunches to make, no fun-filled drives to Middlesex. No real reason for me to be sitting in my office but I could not sleep. My thoughts were moving at a million miles an hour and then landed like Stockton McMullin after a long jump on a single thought of personal profundity. One of the principles of measurement is that you find a constant, a fixed point in space and then you count revolutions of what you are measuring (if they are moving on one axis) as they passed the point of measurement, or let's call it the POM. For me, the D-Family POM used to be the Tokeneke Pumpkin Fair. Once a year we would ride the Ferris wheel and soar above the tree tops of our little bubbly enclave and I would have the whole family with me and I would sit up there when the Ferris wheel reached the tippy-top and think of the previous year and what we had accomplished (or not) I would mark the growth of the children, the relative happiness of each family member. Then the children grew and we stopped going to the Pumpkin fair. Then the POM switched to Christmas dinner. I would look down the table and hear the voice of my beloved Nana who would invariably say at such a gathering "My what a handsome family." Memorial Day in particular is a personal and in some ways sacred POM for me. On Memorial Day of 1977 I had awakened early just like this morning. Just like everyday Memorial day since. It's like my body has stored in it the precise time of a certain event and it marks that anniversary by waking me up at that hour each year. I was 17, a junior in High School and two years into the waiting for my parents to allow me to be baptized. I had gone to a Ray Kordsiemon's baptism a few night's previous and I dreamed it was my turn finally. My dear friend Kent performed the ordinance, my friends were there, my dream was so vivid and sweet but it was interrupted by my awakening suddenly. I felt robbed of that sweet victory when I awoke. Little did I know I was watching a trailer from the cinema of miracles my life would soon become. The sacred events of that Memorial Day morning are not ones of blog entries. Suffice to say, a few short weeks later I was baptized and in every possible way the dream was fulfilled.

In the many years that have followed Memorial Day has become also a personal memorial for me. That morning in '77, doubts were replaced by the fervent warmth of hopeful longing and years of faithful waiting were rewarded by a certainty that, like a beloved hymn suggested, All is well, all is well. Every Memorial day as I awaken I think back to that day and wonder if I have been true to my epiphany, have my words, thoughts and deeds been indicative of my gratitude? Certainly not. But I am grateful none the less for the POM memorial day offers me.

As I contemplate Emily and I sitting at the curbside and watching the '09 parade I am swept backward to the Memorial Days of my childhood. When my mother would sit rapt and teary eyed as we listened to the recitation of the names of our little town's fallen heros of Vietnam. Or one particular Memorial Day in 1968 when Martin Luther King was memorialized just a month or so after his death. Mom wept bitterly that day at the loss of one of her personal heros.

The parade will soon pass by us but even now in the stillness of the morning I hear echoes of Memorial Days past, of Sarah laughing and talking with Carly Park at the Tilley Pond Food fair, of Suzanne and I playing Lacrosse in the back yard, of Drew and I slamming the softball into each other's mitts, of C & I as brand new homeowners watching with intimidation the other sparkling Gatsbyesque Darienites and wondering how we would ever measure up. Em is one year older, one year closer to leaving the nest just as the other D girls have done. I do not feel in my mind older or even much wiser than when Sarah marched in the parade as a Brownie. When as customers of Pierce Real Estate we had our special seating, when Suzanne and I proudly marched with the Indian Princesses. When we waved to Lori Robertson playing clarinet in her Blue Wave band uniform. In a few hours we will be at the Memorial day picnic and I will see the glamorous Christensen girls who as babies I would hold and rock and take comfort in during a time of great personal sadness for me, now very grown up girls who don't even know me.

Time, like the Darien parade, marches before me but the feeling of awe and profound gratitude for all of life's blessings always well up in me on Memorial Day morning. To all our dear family and friends - a very happy Memorial Day. Count your blessings. Name them one by one.

Sunday, April 19, 2009

D girls get car fever, spring fever and hay fever is not far behind.


No sooner than S&S landed in Zion then they did what everyone does who descends Emigration Canyon into the peaceful valley-o. They said to themselves "enough of this handcart stuff, we need some real wheels." So the last few weeks have been punctuated by calls, texts and emails about APRs and MSRPs. Suzanne bought a lovely little Toyota from my ex-M Mission brother Brent Brown (who apparently can bend over backward when selling people cars). Sarah is still in the final stages of finalizing her new Kia Soul a sporty new model barely off the test track. Now the girls can tear up the toll road to each others' apartments, the temples and friends from Logan to St. George. Happy are they. Worried are we. Not really they are both good drivers. And they are paying for their own insurance. We really feel like empty nesters now. Suzanne has been working super hard and even won a recent props letter from her biggest client. Sarah had her first week at Arbinger and so far we only hear good things. She is sporting a new Macbook Pro and Blackberry so she is very much looking the part of the young marketing exec that she is.
And while they may have the classiest of wheels, both D girls are missing their furniture from home. So C. has threatened to U-haul it out there and catch the Church history sites along the way. Imagine that -- Motel 6, Nauvoo, eccentric roadside food and Winter Quarters. A true pioneer experience.

Back at 196 OKHN the front garden is in bloom and the cherry trees are a blaze of color. My favorite time of day is dusk when the outdoor lights kick on and bathe the bushes, trees and plantings in soft light. I love to walk to get the mail and notice every new blossoming thing. We are spending more time outside on the deck and Emmy took advantage of the warm spell during break and went to Cherry Lawn with gal pal Julia and they explored the lakeside in search of ducklings, flora, fauna and boys playing sports. Drew is working on the planning stages of an amazing Eagle project and getting more driving practice and continues to make beautiful music when he is not on the phone with a new found friend up Idaho way.

C and I are still loving Institute, the change in the seasons and our time together out with friends or just the two of us at home for our pillow movie nights. It's funny, I grew up with a sister who loved old movies. It was years before I knew we even had a color TV because more often than not its screen was alight with Myrna Loy or Fred Astaire. And now I am doubly blessed with a bride who appreciates classic cinema. Of course that doesn't give me much hope for that OLED HDTV I want. Don't need 1080p of those to watch "Torchy Blane" or "The Thin Man." Oh well, I laugh at the fact that once again I am seeing see those old familiar faces of my childhood Film Noir days.

Saturday, April 18, 2009

Emily shines at YW in Excellence night - debuts new poetry series "Valuing Our Lives"


Em shared her amazing writing chops and poise at the podium at the recent Stamford Ward Young Women In Excellence Night. She read one of her new poems from a series called "Valuing Our Lives." which are a set of poems inspired by the Young Women's values. At the little reception afterward we were so touched by leaders, girls and parents who expressed love, support and interest in Em's work so much so that we created a website called All Things Emily so people can read her stuff. Go Em! You can find Em's latest pen marks here